Realization

Taking a break from what I'm doing nowww and decided to clean up spiderwebs in my blog. Probably no one will ever look at my blogspot since I've not updated it gazillions years ago but nonetheless I just wanted some space to pen down some thoughts.

2014 has been an amazing year for me, I never thought I'd say that. I came to realized that life is really short to bear grudges, be angry or sad and let your life be filled with hatred or sorrows. How you wanna lead your life its up to you; happy, sad or angry, you choose. I'm not sure if anyone realized but I've changed (and I'm very happy about it). In the past, I was very emotional (before I met Joel), with all the emotional posts on Facebook/Twitter, putting quotes about love etc. It always been a someone likes me but I like someone else and the someone else likes another; that kind of relationship. Perhaps I wasn't prepared and ready for a relationship or knowing how to handle one. Come to think of it, it seems pretty silly of me but teens tend to behave like that, right? Let say its just a stage of growing up.

Lucky me, not sure is it because heaven had seen me going through all the 'love hardships' to find the right one, I finally found one 4 years back. I never thought I would get into a relationship so suddenly because I was in the midst of 'healing' from a sunken ship. Nonetheless, I am thankful for this love I'm given, who walked me through the good and bad times throughout this 4 years. Not many would believe in Horoscope but I do to a certain extent, especially the personality traits and compatibility. Joel is a Leo while I'm a Virgo, they aren't meant to be together because we are opposites in nature. But I came to realized that opposites is what will make you a better person (perhaps?), because what I do not possess, he does and vice versa. Along our way, we quarrel like many couples do but we learn to compromise. We both want things to go in our way because of different opinions and beliefs. I'm really glad things still work out till now and our relationship grew stronger from all the understandings and quarrels. Being a perfectionist myself, I'd want a perfect relationship (no quarrels, nothing etc) but that would only happen in fairy tale.

He made me grow to who I am now. My friends and colleagues who've seen, realized I am a stronger and more optimistic (or cheerful) person now. Whenever they asked me, "Why and how can you always be so cheerful?", I'll think to myself, "Because life is too short to be sad, I decided to choose to be happy. We make mistakes, we become sad/angry but at the end of the day, we just have to learn from it and move on to the next phase, bringing this experience and not repeat it again." This change of mentality happened simultaneously with his optimism and my first full-time job experience. Well, perhaps I laugh easily too, that adds on the optimistic part? Yes, I'm a happier person now and I hope I could bring more positivism to people around me and do more good. He and I are imperfect in our ways but I'm glad I also had a significant impact in changing him into a better person. 

I used to rant about how my career/educational path never runs smoothly as I wanted it to be. I realized part of it was my lack of effort in working hard and part of it was me not having any goals in life. For now, I want to work in Human Resources because I want to bring the better into the working industry. I like to meet people and I want to make a workplace a happier one to work in. I've been there done that on how a dreadful working place could only make you wanna drag yourself to work instead of willingly. I hope this path I'm choosing will be smooth and successful. Looking forward to bring my little experiences to people I'll know in the future. Bless!

2015, marks the year I turn 23. It sounds old to me but perhaps not as old (compared to people of older ages that is). I wanna live my 20's well and fullest. I wanna marry young (my desired is 24/25?) because I don't wanna have age gap with my children next time. But I'll only complete my studies this year and graduate in 2016. After which, it'll just be the start of my career. However, all probably will only happen if I save enough for my marriage (HAHA), cause I'm quite a spendthrift if I want to. Perhaps this is what I am looking forward and working hard to, for my current and future family. I've seen friends of younger age who are already married and planning for their future. Marriage is no rush for me because I want it to be as perfect and memorable as I want to be. Yknow it sounds very silly to imagine yourself being proposed to and thinking of the ideal and most romantic proposal thats ever gonna happen on you? JOKE. Anyway, I envy couples who can marry early (provided they have really ready for a family especially financially) but at the same time, I want to live my life now as I want it. 

This post is very messy because I am just typing down whatever that is going on in my thoughts. Nonetheless, to a better year ahead of me and all of you!

Blessed 2015.

Jacey.